I was feeling blue the other night

So I walked down the street to the neighbourhood open mic

Thinking if I played a couple of songs

It just might make me feel alright

I walked up to the bar and put down my guitar

And ordered myself a tea because I couldn’t afford a beer

And then I sat down and took a look around the place

And surveyed all the faces in there

There were some college kids slamming back a couple of pitchers and a

Group of teachers in v-neck sweaters, planning their next strike

And on the mic was a Kurt Cobain look-alike in converse shoes

Singing some grunge-love, suicide blues

There were some old boys sitting at the bar, giving me the stare

They were checking out my hair

And I thought “Oh my god, what am I doing here?

Right now, I could really use that beer.”

Chorus:

I’m the only dyke at the open mic

My throat’s feeling a little tight and it’s getting hot in here

I’m the only dyke at the open mic

I wish I was on that flight tonight,

Joni, get me outta here

When Kurt sang his final note

He left the stage to smoke cigarettes and drink himself depressed

And the hostess asked if I’d like to play a couple of tunes

Well, I guess I didn’t have much to lose

So, I jumped up on stage but I bumped into the mic stand

And it crashed landed to the floor

And the hostess ran up to help me out as I was

Fighting off my second round of self-doubt

Chorus:

I’m the only dyke at the open mic

And the mic’s down on the floor and I’m already looking for the door

I’m the only dyke at the open mic

I’m just trying to look cool but I’m feeling a bit foolish

Then, it took me what seemed like forever to tune my guitar

And I could hear the old boys at the bar snickering through the darkness

And I’m still thinking, “Do I really have to go through with this?”

Then the microphone started feeding back on me

And the sound guy freaked out

And I felt like I was in one of those classic movie scenes

You know or like the time when Ellen Degeneres finally came out

And the old boys at the bar had their backs to me now

And Kurt Cobain was getting drunk and loud

The teachers were rowdy and ready to call union meeting and me?

I was still contemplating leaving

Then, I heard someone say “I hope this chick doesn’t stick around,

Cuz I’ve had enough for one day.”

And then I ripped into my first song and I

blew them all away

Chorus:

I’m the only dyke at the open mic

I’m working the crowd and I’m making them laugh out loud

I’m the only dyke at the open mic

Well, what do you know? I was winning ‘em over

So, I finished my tunes to a round of whistling and clapping

And I was packing up my guitar case

When one of the old boys from the bar came over

With a really sheepish look on his face

And I’m thinking “OK, what’s this guy going to say to me?

I better get ready.”

But he slapped me on the shoulder and

He said with a grin, “I loved your songs, man

I wish I was a lesbian.”

Chorus:

Yeah, I’m the only dyke at the open mic

Strumming my guitar in this dingy little bar, yeah

I’m the only dyke at the open mic

Belting out songs about women, feeling good when I’m singing

Yeah, I’m the only dyke at the open

Strumming my guitar in this dingy little bar

I’m the only dyke at the open mic

Some nights I gotta push myself a little farther