Do you ever lie down on a hill

and look up at the vast expanse of sky

and thank the universe for helping you escape

an unlivable life?

Do you ever send up prayers of gratitude to the great beyond

for guiding you to this moment—

the moment when you realize

that you have waded alone through the muck

unable to see in the dark of night

yet you moved your body tentatively forward

one foot in front of the other

feeling your way along the walls,

fingers digging into the cracks between the cold stones

searching for something you could cling to—

hoping for something solid to grasp?

Something to steady you as you tread

slowly, fearfully forward

towards a different life—

the life you had once, a long time ago, conjured in your mind

the life you began to breathe into

before you gave it up again

for some fabricated romantic promise of the love of another

or an out-of-body fantasy of security

that slowly faded from view once

you began to awaken to the knowledge that

only you can be responsible

for loving yourself—

only you can be responsible

for pursuing your dreams—

only you can be responsible

for fulfilling your own needs for

joy

solitude

peace

connection

ecstasy?

Your dreams are worth more

than a million unbearable situations.

Your desires are worth as much as

the air that swirls in your lungs

the blood that courses through your veins

your heart that beats out the rhythm of your life

the heat that gathers deep inside you

the tears that move you toward a new beginning.

Forgive yourself.

It is the only door through which love can enter.