What is it like to be a child with SEND (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities) in schools today? What is it like to be a parent to four such children and fight for their rights?

Carrie Grant’s children have – like all of us – complex identities. Of the four of them, two are autistic, three have AD(H)D, one is adopted, all are of dual heritage, and three hold various queer and trans non-binary identities. In this inspiring and at times heartbreaking book, the presenter, coach, and advocate shares stories from her family’s experiences with education, schools and mental health services, as mum to children who are classified as SEND (Special Education Needs and Disabilities). These stories explore how school – when those delivering and managing education are poorly trained and ill equipped for a diverse population – can be at best ineffective, and, at worst, traumatising.

An inspiring call to action, this book is essential reading for:

• Teachers and aspiring teachers who want to know more about how to meet the needs of a diverse classroom.
• SENCOs (Special Education Needs Coordinators) and those training to work in SEND support.
• GPs, community health workers, and workers in Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).
• Parents of children with SEND, who want to know how they can engage with formal education to advocate for their child’s needs.

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Epigraph
• vivii 
• viiiixContents
• Introduction
  • SEND in the United Kingdom
  • Learning objective: Language about diversity
• 1 The landscape
  • One story versus many stories
  • Equity versus equality
  • Who are my children?
    • Child 1
    • Child 2
    • Child 3
    • Child 4
    • How we see children
  • Belonging
  • Knowledge and the gift of teaching
    • Taking measurements
    • Creativity in learning
  • Local and national governance
    • Health and education
  • Why are we losing teachers?
  • Teaching is a vocation
  • Learning objective: Leadership in all its forms
• 2 Leadership
  • Hero leader
  • Like likes like; different is a threat
  • Mindset
  • Leading as a parent: Learning to be the “warrior parent”
    • Off-rolling: A failure of leadership
    • Effective leaders need community
    • The warrior parent fighting multiple battles
    • Always moving forward
    • Leading for Ch4: Not all SEN are the same
  • Learning objective: Parenting a child with non-dominant identities
• 3 Collaboration
  • Child-centred collaboration
    • Barriers to child-centred collaboration
      • Agenda:
      • Lack of belief:
      • Funding:
      • Exhaustion:
  • The mindset of collaboration
    • Boxed-in thinking
      • Base: “only one way”
      • Back side: no change
      • Left side: rigid conformity
      • Right side: no questions
      • Front side: no grey
      • The lid and lock: fear and shame
    • The ten assumptions of collaboration
      • 1. Parents have one child
      • 2. Professionals have no outside life
      • 3. Parents are only parents
      • 4. Parents don’t get it and are not expert
      • 5. Professionals can solve everything
      • 6. Parents don’t want to engage
      • 7. Parents are too engaged
      • 8. All families have white, English, neurotypical thinking
      • 9. Everyone has lots of time on their hands
      • 10. The problem is money
    • The ten markers of good collaboration
      • 1. All stakeholders are present
      • 2. All are of equal status
      • 3. Everyone understands the language, which is kind
      • 4. Everyone has a chance to speak
      • 5. Everyone is heard
      • 6. We can all sit with discomfort
      • 7. New ideas are welcome
      • 8. Good ideas can come from anywhere
      • 9. Everyone understands what they have to do moving forward
      • 10. Ideas are followed up, failure is allowed, and we work until it works
  • Learning objective: Holistic education plan
• 4 Strategy
  • Form and flow
    • Every child is different
    • Every child is evolving
      • Developmental change
      • Intersections
      • Identity
    • The world is continually evolving
  • Who are you?
    • Child 1
      • Every child is different
      • Every child is evolving
      • The world is continually evolving
    • Responding to gender identity
    • Child 2
      • Every child is different
      • Every child is evolving
      • The world is continually evolving
    • Child 3
      • Every child is different
  • Autism =/= learning disability
    • Child 4
      • Every child is different
      • Every child is evolving
      • The world is continually evolving
  • Behaviours that challenge
  • Learning objective: Parental toolkit
• 5 Strategy
  • Non-violent resistance (NVR)
    • NVR step 1: De-escalation
      • Meltdowns versus tantrums
    • NVR step 2: Strike while the iron is cold
    • NVR step 3: Top-box priority
    • NVR step 4: The announcement
    • NVR step 5: The sit-in
      • Adapting tools for different needs
    • NVR step 6: Consequences and gifts; punishments and rewards
  • General tools, approaches, and strategies
    • Being present
  • Listening
    • Slow down, empathize, repeat
    • “What” not “why”
  • Shame
    • Sorry and forgiveness
  • Self-care and supporters
  • Sensory integration
    • Interoception
  • School-specific tools
    • Factors that impact a child in school
      • What is the environment like?
      • What is the child’s relationship with the subject like?
      • What is the child’s relationship with the teacher like?
      • What is the child’s relationship with their peers like?
    • Anti-bullying and restorative justice
  • Reasonable adjustments
  • Learning objective: Wider inclusivity
• 6 The future
  • No quick fixes
  • Joined-up thinking
  • Flexibility
  • Areas for innovation
  • Belonging
• Recommended discussion topics
  • Worldview
  • Leadership
  • Collaboration
  • Strategies
  • Brainstorming the future
• 179Notes
• 181References
• 186187Recommended further reading
• Index

Carrie Grant MBE PhD (h.c.) is an award-winning broadcaster, coach, and advocate. In 2020, she was granted an MBE for services to Music, Media & Charity. In 2018, she was awarded an honorary doctorate from the University of Bedfordshire in recognition of her outstanding work for charity, especially her advocacy of children with additional educational needs. An active campaigner, she is ambassador for various groups and charities, including Crohn’s & Colitis UK, The Diana Award, The National Autistic Society, and Adoption UK. Along with her husband David, she is parent to four children, all of whom have special needs.